My May has been slow to say the least. It hasn’t been bad but I haven’t accomplished half of the stuff I wanted to by this time of the month.
And while I am trying to not beat myself up for that as I can feel the my body is craving rest and that is ok. But I have a big goal for this month that I am trying to hit and I just need to find the motivation.
Its hard tho because my brain wants one thing and my mind wants another. Sometimes its hard to be ok with that. Its hard to be ok with not doing the things you want to do and need to do. The goals you set for yourself. And the ideas you have for how your days will plan out.
So this month is just my month of rest and to restore. I need to be ok with that.
Thing don’t go to plan. Life has a funny way of just making sure you are in the time and season you need to be. For me that mean my month has just been about rest and trying to uncover what is going on deep down inside of me. It has taken me about 2 weeks into this month to be ok with that. And to be honest I don’t think I am still ok with it. I am finding it difficult to understand myself this month. I feel like I am not intone with myself. Which for me is just plan weird. I feel like an outsider in my own body. Which I don’t really understand how I let this happened. If I am truly honest I am struggling to get back to a place of love. I think just being so tired is really draining on myself and my mind.
I guess in some way I just have to accecpt that there is a lesson somewhere in the middle of all this.
So for now I am going to watch movies during the day, take naps and enjoy rest my body. I am just going to go with the flow and enjoy this quiet season I am in.