This post is something I actually didn’t know how to start. I had this idea in my head to explain how I had been feeling for the past couple of months, however ever time I go to sit down to write this I come up with nothing. I feel like I’ve blocked myself form allowing myself to write this post. Which is weird because I really want to write it. However I am just going to push through and see if I can get the words out into this post.
I know currently there are a lot of changes happening with the universe and its effecting us all. All in different ways. And I think that is half the reason as to why I am so low in energy that combined with having very low iron levels. Thankfully a simple blood test told me that and I was able to go and have a iron infusion to help boost my levels. But that is not just it. I feel like I have been creating this idea in my head of how I want to be, how I want my business to run, to create space and earn an income. But they are not turning out in any form; if anything I feel like I am getting further and further away from it. Which absolutely sucks!! I honestly don’t understand how or where I went so wrong in creating this space or creating my dream. I think I just built up too much and are still really struggling to find my voice in it all. I wanted to go away from the term “mummy blogger” and share my spiritual journey but I realised that the two actually go together. And if I stop trying to create this person who is like everyone else I would actually find my inspiration to write and post! It’s funny, we are in a world so full of this perfect image that is to be displayed on social media, in blogs and vlogs that we all try to one up each other or be the same.
And who wants to be the same as the person next to them.
In my daily life I will often say to my kids yes I am weird but we all are. My partner and I have a habit of calling each other weird because we are. We both have little things we do that we see are weird between us and I embrace it. It is such a big thing to admit you not like everyone else. We each have things we do that is not the same as the next person, same goes with our thinking. We all think differently. And I am tired of trying to get myself to be like everyone else.
I never will have a perfect instagram feed full of lovely white background photos that are full of light and amazing captions. MY feed will be what ever I am feeling at the time. Lately its been a photo of the morning sky with my coffee in hand. Personally I love it and that is why I put the photos up because I love them. I am also a mum who is studying and working so I don’t have a huge amount of time to lay out an ideal picture. But I am fully ok with that. I am ok with not being perfect. I am ok with being tired. I am ok with being a spiritual person. I am ok with not being an amazing writer + knowing that my spelling is not perfect nor my grammar. I am ok with ME.
That is the main thing. To be ok with being the person I am. Being ok with the person I am means embracing me. To stop comparing myself and my blog + social media sites to others. I am really going to just embrace me. And I hope I can get me across to everyone. I want people to see the TRUE me. The person who prays to god, listens to the angles, journals, reads tarot + oracle cards, creates magic, understands the goddess +gods, does meditation and yoga plus works out, eats chocolate , loves healthy eating, drinks coffee and smoothies, create a home for my children, is a partner, daughter, sister and friend, use oils daily, crystals everywhere, reads books, listens to SHE and understands SHE, use the term Wiccan Priestess to describe herself.
This is just a part of who I am but I have so many layers. I want all thought parts to come alive on these pages. I want to share my thoughts, fears, dreams and untold stories. I want these pages to be filled with love and grace but also makes you think about your life and how you are living it. I want to create a place where people can learn something about themselves by reading my words. I want to help people. THAT is what I have worked out. I want to help people in what ever form that means for that person. It might be to just listen or give advice, help them with creating a healthier lifestyle, using oils, creating magic in any form, using my intuition to help them, to work for a service within emergency management, to just be there for people when they feel like they are alone. I want to HELP. Especially woman. I want to help women feel empowered and find their inner love for themselves.
In saying all this the shift I have felt within my self, the mood, the downs and the highs, the weird feeling in my gut that I couldn’t shake has been because I am not living my truth. I am still hiding. Hiding in a way I didn’t know I was. I thought I was full open but I realised that is not the case. Hiding makes me feel tired and sad, it brings on my anxiety, makes me really uneasy within myself. Hiding is just not ok within my body. I don’t tolerate it. I get like I have been for the past couple of months. So I really need to try harder not to hide. I need to be just myself and nothing more. And then the effects won’t show on my body.
This shift that is happening tho all around us is absolutely amazing; I am finding a lot of people are coming out of their comfort zone, ultimately this is a fantastic thing and we should all not feel the need to hide. We should all feel like we can be ourselves with everyone. The universe is telling us all to stop hiding and start showing our authentic selves. We all should be thanking the universe for helping us come out of our shells.
Every women should never feel the need to hide because of their fear of being judged or not liked or being an outcast. Woman should be able to express themselves anyway they want to. We should be able to share our stories, our emotions.
So from now on I make this promise to you… I promise to always been open, honest and my truest self. I promise to show every side of me, the good + the bad. I promise to be graces and loving. I promise to be my authentic self in all forms.